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Burdened

from Desolation by PORTALS

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lyrics

Nothing feels right.
I'm always constantly searching for a reason to stay alive.
Time after time,
the depression grabs a hold of me and carves me with a fucking knife.
Things will never change, I've always been this way.
I'm just a byproduct of young life gone to waste.
Things will never change, I’ve always been this way.
I'm just a dead man walking.
You fucking coward.
Eternal suffering, forever pained.
Why do I always have to feel this way?
Every day just feels the same,
Always searching for a feeling that I will never regain.
I've spent my life wallowing in misery.
Washed up, lifeless, drowning in my apathy.
Years have been spent building up a hardened shell,
fighting losing battles, and yet still, no one can ever tell.
This is Hell.
I am just a fucking waste.
Dead to a world that never cared for me.
A soulless being.
I never feel a thing.
Dead to a world, a world that never fucking cared for me.
Disassociation. The burden of a heavy mind.
Decomposing while my body still stays alive.
Rotting away. Still staying the same.
I'm just counting down the minutes 'til I reach my final day.
Just fucking end it all.
Withering into nothing as
my mind slips into a haze.
Misery develops into twisted senses of normality,
and I could use the company,
but some things never change.
Forever burdened.
Forever drained.

credits

from Desolation, released April 12, 2019

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PORTALS Bloomington, Illinois

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